Two Grandmas

     Becoming a new grandmother has me thinking back to my childhood. Growing up, I was fortunate to have both my maternal and paternal grandmothers close by. In our family, they were affectionately referred to as Grandma B and Grandma P, the first initial of their last names.  I was in my twenties when they died and although I was old enough to accept this inevitable fact of life, I was still too young to lose the benefit of their wisdom and their love. I remember them both fondly, and now as a grandmother myself, I think about these two women more than ever. 

     We called Grandma B, my mother’s mom, Noni.  She was widowed in her fifties and soon after came to live with us. As a kid, I loved having Noni stay in our home. For years, we shared a bedroom and the biggest perk of that was that she made my bed every morning! In turn, I would hand down some of my clothes and she loved to mix teen-style tops with her classic tweed skirts. She had an eye for style and was an exquisite dressmaker. Noni had very long hair that she kept in a soft bun.  She helped my mom around the house and occasionally cooked dinner. She’d rather eat at home than go out and could make a meal out of apparently nothing in the refrigerator. She was the original “measure with your heart” kind of cook. Growing up herself with modest means, she was very frugal and taught me to save my money. 

     “Don’t shop too much. You don’t need anything,” she would lament when I left the house to go shopping with my girlfriends. On holidays and birthdays, Noni would always give me a card with a five-dollar bill tucked inside. It may as well have been one-hundred dollars. It meant that much to me.

     One of my best memories was teaching Noni English. She had emigrated from Italy by way of Brazil, so her English, especially her grammar, was not up to par and she wanted to improve. The solution was for us to do my homework together. I remember in 5th grade she would diagram sentences with me. Noni and I lined our papers with pencil and ruler dissecting the English language into subjects, verbs, direct objects and so on. We would learn vocabulary by watching a popular game show called Password, where contestants tried to guess the secret word using synonyms.  We would also watch one of Noni’s favorite TV shows, Bonanza. She thought the iconic Cartwright family spoke beautiful English. We would chuckle as she mimicked phrases with a cowboy accent.

     In addition to English, Noni spoke fluent Italian and Portuguese. Once, when I was trying to be funny, I made fun of her speech because she mixed all three languages in one sentence. She didn’t find the humor in this. “Okay miss big shot, how many languages do you speak?”  I learned my lesson.

     My dad’s mother, Grandma P, was just known as Grandma. She was born in New York City, spoke perfect English with some Italian. She lived with my grandfather and my favorite Aunt just a few blocks from us. Grandma P loved to eat out, especially for lunch. I remember accompanying her to luncheonettes where she would enjoy her favorite, tuna salad on white toast. After lunch she would discreetly pour a bit of water on her fingertips, drying her fingers with a napkin and putting on lipstick. This was a ritual that I would watch in awe. I was certain it was like something like a movie star would do. Grandma P was generous, showering me with fancy gifts to commemorate momentous occasions like First Holy Communion, Confirmation, special birthdays and graduations. She loved jewelry herself, and gifted me beautiful pieces that I still treasure. She thought these mementoes were important and gave them with much love and pride. Grandma P was a tall woman, impeccably dressed and stylish for the times. She got her hair done every Saturday. Most Sundays (especially after my grandfather passed on) she came to our house for dinner. She was always grateful to sit at our table with all its goings on. 

     I was fortunate to have these two very different grandmothers. Noni was a free spirit, questioned the church and didn’t take herself or her grandchildren too seriously. Grandma P was more conservative, went to mass every Sunday and although she was kind, she was a bit more rigid on how we should behave. 

     On numerous occasions, Grandma P would tell Noni about the fun she had at her senior center and encouraged her to join. Noni would scrunch her face and exclaim “I don’t want to be with a bunch of old ladies.”  Grandma P laughed it off. They both had each other’s number, that’s for sure, but there was a love and mutual respect between them that you could feel. They shared their grandchildren without competition and gave what they could of their time and treasure. 

     It’s true, they were as different as night and day, except for how much they loved me; a good lesson for this new grandmother to hold on to.